Great share from the Huntsville Times


You might be a Huntsvillian if … What would you add to the list? Deborah Storey, The Huntsville Times 08/31/2012 8:30 AM HUNTSVILLE, Alabama –As a Huntsville native and longtime newspaper employee, one of my favorite stories ever was “You might be a Huntsvillian if…” We clearly ripped off the concept from comedian Jeff Foxworthy, whose “you might be a redneck if..” lives on and on. The original Times story ran in 1996, but the local twist survives in an occasional online post and email. I received a “Huntsvillian if..” email just a couple of years ago that was going around someone’s office. In 1996, we asked the community for suggestions and they were hilarious. You can just imagine –there are some really clever, funny people in this city. Those rocket scientists do have a sense of humor, it turns out. An example: Huntsvillians know there’s no airport on Airport Road. Each spring, I’ve always remembered one particular reader suggestion: “You’re thinking of just buying a pollen-colored car.” Another gem: You use your gun scope to check out the new comet. Because that story ran 16 years ago, it seems time to revive it in the social media era. Comment below and weigh in with your one-liners. We all need a laugh these days. Just think of today’s juicy topics: Even more traffic. New overpasses. Fancy local restaurants. BRAC transfers. Coyotes in the city. School issues. Local politics. The dog park. Frantic weather forecasting. Radio talk shows. Snow days. NASA. Tornadoes. Ice storms. “Rocket City Rednecks.” To inspire you, here are some of the best from last time. You might be a Huntsvillian if: — you drop an ice cube tray on the kitchen floor and your kids want to take two snow days off from school. — you don’t care how they do it up north. — your hot rod is powered by a solid fuel rocket booster. — you’re unable to make out a grocery list unless it begins with 1) mission 2) goals and 3) objectives. — you don’t question the useless underpass at Gibson’s. — your conversations contain more than one acronym per sentence. — you consider an on-ramp to Memorial Parkway a nice place to park until the traffic thins out. — your garage holds two John Deere tractors and a fledgling electronics company. — you don’t think Lily Flagg is an Easter banner. — you learned to count backwards and thought “liftoff” was the last number. — you hear a tornado warning and go out to the edge of town in your pickup to watch it come in. Some of them took a nostalgic turn: — you remember when Huntsville was known for the “white stuff” (cotton) before it was known for the “Right Stuff” (space technology). — you didn’t look up from your newspaper when the windows rattled and the dishes fell out of the cabinet because you knew it was a rocket test – not an earthquake. — you bought your school books at T.T. Terry’s store on Southside Square — you remember when Goodyear Shoe Shop (Mr. Henry Hilson) had telephone number 1.” http:/


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